Porn and the Threat to Life and Love

When a man has a hijacked sex drive that cannot be satisfied in a loving, monogamous relationship but needs said relationship in order to maintain his image, power and control, what happens when it all falls apart? What happens to the frustration and loathing when it can no longer be meticulously channeled and contained in the shadows? What happens when virility ultimately fails even in the shadow lands? What happens to a man after he has rejected and abandoned everyone good and real in his life who loves and wants him and devotes all affection, attention, and financial resources to buy the “love” of the collection of lost boys and girls he perpetually maintained in his bank of shadow supply?

What happens when the grand game is exposed, when the scales tip and the natural consequences of the true addiction – an insatiable entitlement to admiration and control – finally begin to manifest and he loses his power – his ability to hide in the shadows or find any satisfaction there?

Rage. Testosterone-fueled RAGE focused on destroying what he cannot control that dares fail to satisfy him.

I am in the fight of my life, but of infinite more importance, the lives of my children.

There is too much at stake for EVERYONE for anyone to stay silent on this issue or bury their heads in a pile of false piety and modesty. Sometimes (every 2 minutes on average) I want to scream at the absurdity of our culture and how fucking hard one has to fight, often against their own tribe, to uphold the most basic truths of our shared humanity.

Despite my epic parenting failures, my oldest son has managed to reach adulthood having dodged this bullet out of his own amazing sense of self and purpose. I’m in all out war to ensure my youngest two reach maturity with the capacity to enjoy and experience (if they so choose) all the wonders and joys of sex within mutually loving and consensual relationships, all while coming to terms with the personally devastating reality that I most likely never will.

People – we need to FIGHT for the next generation of men against the reigning, raging dinosaur of misogyny, patriarchy and inherited familial patterns of abuse. We have collectively failed them. We have failed each other. We have failed ourselves. We all bear the responsibility.

Time for a comet to come in and wipe it all out and change the order of things. If I’m destined to go out and lose everything with a bang, at least I’m going out as the comet.

On a personal level, everyone in my life going forward is one or the other, either with me as the comet or the dinosaurs that need to go so that humanity can get a grip and live productively and happily on this planet. Either way, we all go BOOM. But I’m banking on the next generation having a shot at life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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